She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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