I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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