Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
