Small penises have feelings too.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
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The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
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Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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