Pregnant stripper...not hot.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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