you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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