sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
