i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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