'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
God I need to hump something, right now.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
