i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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