Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
