ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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