:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
