I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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