then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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