Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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