That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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