M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
