I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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