Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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