you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
