well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i drank out of a bidet.
You took a bar mat shot.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
