there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
