You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize