i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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