i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
