mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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