thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
This house was built for laser tag.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
