He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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