im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
