We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
