i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
