I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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