thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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