I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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