Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
