i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize