Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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