I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
