Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
