You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
