Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize