I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
last night I used snow as a chaser
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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