just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
