the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
