Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
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There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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