Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
