I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
