Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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