He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
