I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
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I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
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I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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