And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
