Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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