we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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