It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
