I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
