I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
