Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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