I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I'm really busy with my period
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