he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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