just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
