I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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