His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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