apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I don't think brook has ever known best
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
