I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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