i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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