i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
