So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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